She looked at her toes deep in the sand and thought of body parts, hands and feet separated from limbs, lives and identities lost, bits and pieces left behind and buried in Baghdad. Her husband had just soent a year of his life there, a year she would never know or understand. There were things he had seen and done that he could tell her about in the middle of the night, and there were things he could not.
The year was over. He had returned to her. He was home. (130)
Crying in public offered a strangely satisfying relief. Most of them had been through this before, the good-bye, the long deployment, the jubilant return, and they cried now as much for themselves and the lonely year ahead as they did for the men heading off to the dangers of war. (104)
Kailani thought of Sergeant Schaeffer—what had his wife had said to him the last time they spoke on the phone? (113)
The Manny who walked into the auditorium, his uniform stiff with dried sweat, his cheekbones gaunt, hunched beneath his camouflage assault pack, was a different man from the tan and wide-shouldered soldier who had swaggered into his blue bus twelve months ago. (123)
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| Fort Hood Housing |
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This is one of my favorites stories in the collection. Fallon pivots from the royalty of the military—the officers—to the lowly grunts, the "trigger pulling rifleman" (104) like Manny Rodriguez, and their young wives who like Penelope waiting for Odysseus, wait for their husbands return with worry and fear: it can the comms blackout or it can be not hearing from them for weeks and the most terrible enemy of all, imagination of the worst, takes over. Kailani for me is 100% real: "Manny's Wife and the Mother of his two Children" (109) just tells reams to me about her and her past life—and present life—the same way Ellen Roddy remembers the pot heads who wore patchouli back in college. Fallon is the master of the significant detail.
1. What significant and telling detail jumps out at you from the story? And why?
2. What do
you do if you are Kailani? What actions(s) would you take and why?
3. What do you think of Kailani's final decision in regards to Manny's infidelity?
4. Manny: what do you think?
See you tomorrow.
Fallon’s descriptions of Cristina, through Kailani’s eyes, jumped out at me. She talks about Christina’s “perfection” in a contemptible way: “... rigid backed in her hooker heels, her perfect head of hair not moving in the wind.” Kailani shows how she feels toward Christina through her internal dialogue, and we see that she does not want to be like the pink, gossiping hairdresser.
ReplyDeleteIf I were Kailani, I would try to talk to other soldiers who had returned from combat, as difficult as it may be; she has a right to be angry, but to be angry, she must also try to empathize with her husband. I would try to imagine what his life is like and WHY he would be unfaithful; in this case, I believe that her husband’s motives towards possible infidelity are more important than the infidelity itself.
I think that she handled it as well as can be hoped for; It would be completely unreasonable to ask her not to be angry or confused. I think she showed great perspective and empathy at the end of the novel when she empathizes with her husband’s struggles. I admire her willpower and respect her choice.
I think Manny is a bit of a dumbass; while he clearly loves his wife and makes an effort to be charming, he doesn’t seem to understand what his perceived infidelity has done to his wife. His life has been unknowable difficult, yet he still could have empathized with his wife more than he did in the novel.
ReplyDelete1. One detail that jumped out to me was that Kailani wanted to marry Manny, in part, because “he had been close to [death] and survived” (123). I think this says a lot about Kailani. She has a strange attraction to Manny’s survival story, which makes me wonder how she feels about the war. This line implies that she may like knowing that he is risking his life for reasons other than heroism.
2. Kailani’s situation is a difficult one. I understand why Kailani hacked onto her husband’s email, and I probably would have been just as curious about his other mail. However, I don’t think that I would have replied to the email address, especially not without talking to Manny first. Also, I would like to think that I would have confronted Manny and investigated the issue more than Kailani did.
3. When a wife spends every day wondering if her husband is going to die and knowing that he is seeing things “she would never know or understand,” I think it is difficult to blame her for sticking with a cheating man (130). However, I don’t believe that it is fair for Kailani to be with a man who lies to her. She gave up Hawaii for him, and he takes advantage of her love. I don’t think their relationship will last, and if it does, it wouldn't be a healthy life for either of them.
4. While Manny may be a good soldier, he is not a good husband. I think I would like him more if he had been honest about his infidelity (I think the story implies that he did cheat). The fact that he lied, especially using such a weak lie, makes me dislike him. I do not think that all of his mistakes can be blamed on his war experiences. Based on his nightmares, Manny suffers from a lot of trauma, but I don’t think that this excuses his infidelity.
A detail that sluck out for me was the description of Sergeant Schaeffer, the man that died in the attack. He isn’t someone that Kailani really knew, she had only met him once, but Fallon’s description of what Kailani remembers from that event makes him seem very real. In the description, on page 106, Kailani remembers him making jokes about not being able to swim as he repeatedly fell into the dunk tank at the battalion farewell barbecue. The description is only a sentence long, but from that description you get an idea of who Sergeant Schaeffer is, a nice guy with a sense of humor, ready to volunteer to be in the dunk tank.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to say what I would do if I was Kailani. I tend to overthink things, and to try and get hard answers, so I probably would have asked Bonnie McCormick about if there was a Michelle Rand, or even confronted Manny, though I don’t know if that would be the best decision, as an accusation and a confrontation would damage the relationship, even if he didn’t cheat Personally, I think that the idea that my partner cheated on me would make me trust them less, and put a strain on the relationship, so I think finding out would be the best choice for me, but this seems like it may work out for Kailani and Manny.
I think Kailani made a good decision considering the difficult circumstance, as this way, giving Manny the benefit of the doubt and not finding out for sure if he cheated or not, their marriage can stay strong. This way she avoids making a relationship-damaging accusation, and avoids losing her trust in Manny. It is really hard to say, as this is a really awful position to be in for Kailani.
Manny seems really charming, and I think that I would really like him, except for the glaring flaw that drives the story. We, like Kailani, never find out if he actually cheated, he, of course, says that he didn’t, but the evidence, while circumstantial, seems fairly damning. I would like to believe that he didn’t cheat, and a small, optimistic part of me thinks that he didn’t, but the cynical, pessimistic part of me can’t move past the evidence, from the email to Cristina’s gossip at the end of thi story.
The banter of the military wives makes this story so real. This reality is shown especially through details about Christina such as Christina’s language choice and speech pattern, her fuschia nails, and her licking the foam off her latte. Also, the scene where the military wives are calling out things like liposuction and boob jobs they would like to get. It is so normal and casual. The conversations and manners of the communication that takes place in this story reminds me of the times I have spent with the female members of my family. This casualness makes it easier to relate to the women in the story.
ReplyDeleteAs a person who likes to know the truth and is bothered by having answers just out of reach, I think I would need to know about this Michelle, but I cannot say for certain. Finding out who Michelle is may be an even greater burden than not knowing because I found out, I would have a personal vendetta against her for the rest of eternity.
I was surprised, however, by my personal reaction to Kailani’s reasoning with her husband’s need for support and comfort given all went through and continues to deal with. She knows that he experienced more than anybody should have to endure, and she seems to come to an agreement that maybe it makes sense. I did not expect myself to have as much sympathy for Manny as I do. However, I am assuming I would be less sympathetic towards his case if he were my husband…
Manny seems like your pretty standard guy: decently attractive, reasonably intelligent yet not intellectual, sympathetic enough. I think there is much more he could have done to empathize with his wife (telling the truth, perhaps?); however, I do understand that he is struggling with learning to exist in this new, oh-so-normal, civilian world again. His character is pretty much what I expected.
1. “Their wives were welcoming but their first language was Spanish and they always reverted back to it. Kailani would watch them, how they leaned into one another, their quick whispers and laughter, and it made her yearn to be home, to have such an understanding, to be a part of a whole” (118). For some reason, the subtle descriptions and small actions in this scene really spoke to me. At once, this scene both speaks to the bond shared between the subset of the latino community within the larger context of the army base, as well as reveals a lot about Kailani and her desire to fit in. An important theme running throughout this story is the idea of disconnect; the disconnect between soldier and civilian, the disconnect between husband and wife, the disconnect between past and present. To me, this scene further illustrates this idea and emphasizes how out of place Kailani is, she lives in a world of beaches and waves, not uniforms and organization like Ellen Roddy.
ReplyDelete2. Although this is rather a lame response to the question, I think if I was placed in Kailani’s situation, I would act in a very similar manner. From my personal experience, I find it very difficult to bring up issues that others might view as uncomfortable or accusatory, and so I tend to avoid the subject altogether. Though this can be seen as an extremely passive and unproductive way of handling difficult situations, I would argue that in some ways there is also an incredible strength in enduring the burden alone so as to make things easier for others.
3. I am still undecided on this point. Throughout the story I kept asking myself, how do I feel about this, how do Kailani’s decisions of what to do/not do affect my view of her? Do I see her as strong or weak because of the choices she makes? Would I respect her more if she had confronted her husband and demanded a more upfront conversation? Or is she doing the more selfless, conscientious thing by not causing any more drama in her husband’s clearly stressful postwar experience? Perhaps she is also looking out for her children as well, for who knows what kinds of repercussions a confrontation with Manny would have on her children’s lives, and perhaps she is trying to avoid creating anymore instability.
4. Though the story is told in a third person narrative, the only real understanding we get of Manny’s character comes from Kailani’s memory and perspective, and due to this limited view, I think that it is hard to judge Manny as a complete and complex person. However, from what little insight we do get of Manny, I do not think that he is necessarily a bad husband or person. He clearly loves his wife and children very much, yet in certain instances his behavior could have been better. He should have made more of an effort to connect with his wife in order to understand the difficulties she faced while he was gone, and the precarious position he placed her in with the awareness of his possible infidelity, yet it is also difficult to judge his lack of empathy while also understanding the intense trauma he experiences.
Prompt One: Maybe the details about his emails that he had opened. The one that Kailani takes for spam (hopefully) might allude to infidelity on his end.
ReplyDeletePrompt Two: If I were Kailani, I would certainly be upset having found out about the email my husband received. But if I were she, I wouldn’t have sent a response or contacted my husband immediately. Either of those options would reveal a breach of trust on my end, something that would escalate the situation no matter his doings abroad. I would have bided my time and been glad to ask for details from Christina in hopes of piecing together the mystery myself. I would then feel more comfortable confronting him because my source of information wouldn’t have been so sneaky in his eyes. Hopefully then he wouldn’t feel like I’ve wronged him (invasion of privacy) and won’t need to get as defensive. Then we could chat things out.
Prompt Three: Were I not to confront him and also decide to stay with this family, I wouldn't want to know anything from Christina. I think that knowing the truth could potentially be miserable and that Kailani has weighed the potential outcome of Chritsina’s response against a life that she is not ready to abandon. I also think that Kailani is used to not knowing--whether or not her husband is still alive--and even though the uncertainty can be painful, it will always be less so than a life with a man you can’t fully love or trust. Her decision not to know is a gesture of trust, because she just can’t live a life “without the sea.” Manny is her island, and were she to lose his support she would be stuck in the middle of texas. As much as she might desire to know the truth, she desperately forces Christina not to tell her anything, an action that states that she wants to keep going where they left off, even if it will always be a little different than it was before.
Prompt Four: I don’t know what to think about Manny. We don’t know what really occurred while he was away, so I can’t base my assumption of his character off what might have happened. However, he certainly seems ready to repair whatever has become between him and Kailani in his absence: Going faithfully to the classes to readjust to civilian society and offering her full access to his email (though it is a month later). Actually now that I think about his email, I find it strange that he immediately changed his password. As Kailani noticed, his emails weren’t that important--nothing he should worry about the military fearing being read--so his excuse doesn’t hold up that well.
1. What significant and telling detail jumps out at you from the story? And why?
ReplyDeleteWhat really jumped out at me was the foreshadowing in the beginning of the book: “All the wet eyes watched that final bus, how it revved its engine to keep up. That supply bus has led a threat that had insurgents and bombs and helicopters crashing. That supply bus with its fifteen women” (105). At first, I didn’t really understand why the supply bus that held the women soldiers were a threat to the wives. However, reading through, it made a lot more sense. The wives wanted to know precisely the amount of women on that bus to know the exact possibilities of the number of women their husbands could have ifidelity with. That line alone really reveals the worries of the women and wives back at home waiting for their husbands. They are not only worried for their safety in Iraq, but are worried that when they return, they won’t be “them” anymore. Many of these wives like Kailani have experience this feeling multiple times as well, and I can imagine that each time, the grief and worry multiplies.
2. What do you do if you are Kailani? What actions(s) would you take and why?
I think I would have probably asked Bonnie for more information about Bonnie. For better or for worse, I tend to be curious, and need to have evidence to make a solid conclusion. However, I am not quite sure I would completely be able to confront Manny. It is easy to say, but much harder to do, and in the heat of the moment, I am not quite sure I would be able to have a conversation. There is a certain straining of trust when it comes to bringing the topic of infidelity, and I don’t think I would bring it up until I had concrete evidence that supported my opinion, and refuted Manny’s alabi.
3. What do you think of Kailani's final decision in regards to Manny's infidelity?
I totally understand kailani’s final decision. She doesn’t want to strain the relationship she has with Manny anymore than the war already has. Although she seems compelled to ask, she stops herself. She finds it too risky. I think the biggest part of why she doesn’t want to know the name of the girl at the end is she wants to save her relationship. She states, “The year was over. He returned to her. He was home” (130). Throughout the story during the flashbacks, she keeps mentioning how much she loved him, and I feel like if the truth proves his infidelity, then it would ruin everything. She sacrificed so much out of love for him. She sacrificed her hometown, her family, and her culture to move to somewhere completely opposite from where she is familiar with. If it turned out that he cheated on her, it will make her feel worse. It will feel like she sacrificed everything, only to gain nothing in the end.
4. Manny: what do you think?
I think Manny seems to be a pretty nice guy. I liked the scene where he talks about Ana and how cute she is grown. Of course we may never know, but a part of me believes that he really was innocent. He sounds desperate to go home to see his family again in every interaction. The way that he makes sure she ends with “I love you.” and tells her to wait for him would be signs of loyalty to me. Of course, this might all be a lie, but it doesn’t seem so with how it is presented in the story. He seems tired and weary from the war, and it seems honest that he just wants to see his wife and kids again. I think this is apparent when he shares his own war stories with Kailani when he returns.
1) I found Manny’s character as a whole to be particularly striking. His genuine love for his wife and children is incredibly apparent, and I find it interesting how starkly he contrasts with Ellen’s husband from the other story. We learn a lot more about the love story behind Kailani and Manny’s marriage, which I think adds a really important depth to this story. It makes the possibility of adultery mean so much more to the reader than if we knew nothing of their relationship outside of the war.
ReplyDelete2) I think I would talk to Manny about the email in greater detail. I would want some sort of closure, and wouldn’t want to wonder for the rest of my life if something had happened or not. Honestly, I’m not sure I would be able to be in a relationship with someone after finding those emails without having that conversation. Im not entirely sure how Kailani did it, but I think I understand why. I think she’d just rather trust her husband’s word than dig around behind his back, making herself worried.
3) I was really surprised when she decided not to talk to Manny. She seemed incredibly upset by the possibility of her husband cheating (understandably so), and yet she chose not to do anything. But I still think it makes sense, in a way. She shows a lot of growth, in this particular area. She trusts her husband a great deal, and I thin she’s choosing to focus on that.
4) I think that Manny is an extremely interesting character, particularly because he doesn’t follow the stereotypical definition of a military man. He’s incredibly sweet, and very open with his wife about what happened overseas. I think that Manny is a good illustration of how three dimensional soldiers really are; like Maggie Swann, they are so much more than their job.
1. The detail that jumped out to me was how drawn Kailani is to Hawaii. Her descriptions are so vivid and it seems like a piece of her is still there. “The avocado trees in her mother’s backyard, the scent of plumeria after a midafternoon rain, the black-and-yellow myna birds heckling traffic as they strutted across the street, the sun setting over the sand while sea turtles rested in the shallows” (114). I think that this longing for her home is important because it enhances the already apparent cultural discrepancy at Fort Hood. Kailani does not speak spanish. “Their wives were welcoming but their first language was Spanish” (117). It shows that Kailani already lacks connection in Fort Hood and Manny’s potential cheating only enhances that.
ReplyDelete2. If I were Kailani, I would not have opened Manny’s email. I think that the strength of the Kailani and Manny’s marriage is questionable. It is said, “she had assumed their relationship would end when he left [Hawaii]” (123). I think that their relationship was given an ultimatum and I think that I would not have chosen to leave Hawaii if I were Kailani.
3. I think that Kailani tried to wrap her head around the situation Manny was experiencing in Iraq by comparing his experience to hers. She thinks of his longing for home like hers for Hawaii. Thus, when he comes home and she does not confront him about his potential adultery, I think she understands how difficult being away must have been. I think that both Manny and Kailani missed their families, and Kailani has decided to believe that Manny is being honest to try and justify her move from Hawaii to Fort Hood.
4. I think that Manny is lying. Like in my answer to the second question, I think that their marriage was rushed. I think that Manny is not a bad person, rather he missed his family. As strange as that may sound, I think that he did not cheat because he was tired of his wife, instead he missed her. In the same way that Kailani uses her plants in the house to remind her of Hawaii, I think that Manny was comforted by that woman and felt closer to home.
1. One specific detail, or group of details, that jump out at me are Kaliani's descriptions of her home in Hawaii, how much she loves it. They were such vivid details about how her children could be growing up and how she could be living her life in a place that she knows and loves, and I think it stuck out to me so much because I felt bad for her. She kept making excuses for her not to go back to what is evidently her favorite place in the world and a place that she would much rather be living at, and it made me really sad for her. I want her to go back to her beautiful Hawaiian home where she belongs, and is happy, and is surrounded by family and people who love her.
ReplyDelete2. Kailani's actions and decisions made me so frustrated! If I were Kailani, after receiving so many gut feelings and evidence, I would be done and I would go back to Hawaii where I would obviously be happier. Especially after Cristina told her about the private home wrecker who was in Iraq with them, that would be the last straw for me. I wouldn't keep making excuses to not bring it up with him, and I would confront Manny about Michelle, and I would've asked Bonnie about her when leaving the meeting.
3. Kailani's final decision not only made me very frustrated, but I also just felt so bad for her because she obviously has to know the truth by now, but is just afraid of it. It just made me angry because she's being walked on and taken advantage of! Because she won't speak up to him about it or won't do anything about it, I feel like Manny's maybe going to get the idea that he can do it again because he has gotten away with it this time. She could be living a much better and happier life in Hawaii but instead she's letting her husband get away with cheating on her and she is surrendering to a life where she deserves so much more than this. I understand being upset and not wanting conformation of the truth because then what you are afraid of actually becomes real, but Kailani's decision to just overlook her husband's cheating is, in my opinion, cowardly and extremely frustrating.
4. First of all, Manny did such a bad job with his excuses about the cheating that it just made me dislike him more. He's taking advantage of Kailani and he knows it. I think he knows that she deserves more and is better than him, but he's selfish and manipulative and so he doesn't let her go. Manny left Kailani at home worried sick about him when he was obviously fine and able to respond and receive emails but instead of responding to his concerned wife back at home, he was cheating on her with Michelle. It makes me really mad that he just didn't respond to her frantic emails even though he saw them, he just let her stress and worry at home without giving her any peace of mind; that just shows how little he cares about her or thinks about her feelings. I didn't like Manny at all.
I found it kind of hilarious that Manny’s email password was always MonsterManE. It completely fits with the characterization of Manny, especially the sense of machismo and braggadocio that Kailani refers to obliquely later during her phone call. It’s also not the most secure password in the world, and the fact that Manny is emailing another woman on an account his wife has the password (even if he probably forgot that) to makes him seem kind of hapless rather than a suspicious, serial adulterer intent on deceiving his wife.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I’m not sure I agree with Kailani’s choices, I think that if someone I loved came back in that condition, I would also take a non-confrontational approach. However, I don’t think I could have deliberately avoided information to confirm or deny my suspicions, especially if Cristina was offering up information so easily. I can see wanting to keep it a private matter, but I would want to know for sure, even if it ultimately made me unhappier over a thing of the past.
I honestly don’t know. There was an article I read a while back on some research that concluded that couples who were able to weather an incident of infidelity and work through it actually had a closer, stronger relationship afterwards. So I guess Kailani has that going for her. I understand why she made the decision she did; she sees the toll the deployment took on Manny and is thankful for whatever pieces of her husband made it back alive from the war. In the end, he came back, which was far from guaranteed. That being said, I was frustrated that her role was to always sacrifice for her love. She gives up her home and community to be a soldier’s wife, and now she has to give even more for Manny’s sake, to keep trusting and forgiving and maintaining their relationship. It’s like his trauma and service gives him a carte blanc to Kailani just having to bear anything that crops up. I guess it speaks to their great love for each other, but I honestly didn’t see why Manny is worth. Maybe it’s just because I’m too young to really understand marriage and love in that light.
I wasn’t very impressed by the fact he definitely seems to be lying to his wife about having an affair, nor the fact that he couldn’t be bothered to respond to her emails after the blackout when she is clearly concerned for him. While he probably had all sorts of stuff on his mind and is obviously traumatized by his experiences upon his return, it’s just immensely inconsiderate of his family. Kailani, I think, sees him as somewhat heroic. For example, she notices when he is on the verge of entering the ocean to pull out the struggling surfers, and she marries him, to some degree, because of his scars and the fact that he had a near-death experience. But there’s just not much of that on display for the rest of the novel. He seems like a generally nice guy who does make an effort to reconnect with his family after he messes up and genuinely is afraid of his wife leaving, despite never admitting to the wrong or apologizing. But like I said above, I just don’t see how he’s worth everything Kailani has given up for him.
ReplyDelete1. When Captain Roddy tells Kailani and the other wives, “Our soldiers couldn’t do their jobs over there if they were weakened with worry about all of us over here” (119). This scene happens right after Kailani’s video call with Manny where she makes her distrust about Michelle Rand apparent. The placement of this line seems very intentional. It is almost like Captain Roddy knows what Kailani did and wants to make her feel guilty, even though it would be impossible for him to know her conversations with her husband. This quote implies that other women are in Kailani’s situation, which is somewhat proven when Cristina talks about a home-wrecker private. I think that the only way to read this quote is the army trying to guilt-trip the wives of the deployed soldiers to keep their mouths shut and their opinions to themselves.
2. If I were Kailani I would want to know the name of the home-wrecker private that Cristina tells her about. I would need to know if it was private Michelle because if it was then I would know that my husband has been unfaithful, but if it was not private Michelle then I might actually believe Manny’s story. I do not think that I would have been as direct as Kailani. I think I would have tracked Manny and Michelle’s emails rather than responding to Michelle. I really do not know what I would do in that situation. When I was younger, I thought that cheating on another person should be a criminal offense, and I still think that it is terrible, but I do not think it is as heinous as I once did. I think that I would feel too guilty to ask Manny while he is deployed and for the weeks after his return. I think I would probably try to move on and forget about it, but I would bring it up once Manny had settled into his new routine, I think. On the other hand, I might not speak with him until he told me what happened with Michelle. I really could not say; however, I think that given the army mentality that I would be surrounded with as Kailani, I would most likely try to suppress my feelings about the Manny and Michelle situation.
3. I think she made the most practical decision. I do not know if it is the decision that will ultimately make her the happiest, but it is certainly the decision that ensures the most security. What are her other options? Moving back to Hawaii and living with her mom? How would she ensure that she got custody of her children? Would they grow up not knowing their father?
4. I do not hate him. I feel like I should, but I do not have enough evidence. I think that war is hard and leaves soldiers with many mental problems. One part of me thinks that it was really sweet of him to help Kailani give Javier a bath, but another part of me feels like if he did not help Kailani as much as possible then he is a bad husband and father. I think the emails with Michelle are very sketchy and definitely suggests that he cheated on Kailani. It is very common for people to cheat on their spouses when they are away for long periods of time. I feel like it is human nature. Now, that does not justify because human nature can be fought against, but I feel like war adds another level of distance to a relationship that can make it extra difficult to remain faithful.
1. As Jordyn and Keyes said, the details of Cristina’s nails really stuck out to me. Fallon pays close attention to her nails describing them as “Perfect”, “rhinestone-studded”, and “knife-tipped.” Cristina’s character is an example of Fallon using stereotypes in order to illustrate the story. She embodies the trope of women who gossip about their husbands lives, are concerned about their appearance, and very much find their identity in being a wife. The nail polish and accessorizing is an effective metaphor for Cristina, and most of the women in this story, who worry about keeping up a good reputation. Kailani, like Ellen, judges Cristina who works at a salon, “gossiping and inhaling nail polish perfumes, and Kailani didn’t want to be one of her woozy topics”(107). Though she doesn’t gossip to the same extent, Kailani lets her husbands life decisions dictate how she lives her life, thus taking on a passive role, which I am not saying is inherently a bad thing just very stereotypical, especially for a woman.
ReplyDelete2. I agree with what Javi said about Kailani’s decisions. As Kailani said her life is being Manny’s wife, and she doesn’t want to put that part of her identity in jeopardy. Although I would like to say that I would confront Manny, I think that in this situation it wouldn’t be beneficial because I would argue that Kailani already knows the truth. There seems to be a quiet understanding between the two about the truth of Manny’s infidelity. On another note, I think it is a bit unfair to say that Kailani should have to empathize with her husbands motives because infidelity should not be a norm or expectation for men in the army, no matter how terrible their situation is. Unless there is an agreement to having an open relationship, which there clearly doesn’t seem to be in this story, I don’t think Manny’s actions should be condoned, especially when we take into account everything that Kailani is sacrificing for her husband to be a soldier. I think this would be a very different situation if it were flipped and Kailani cheated on Manny. I doubt the flipped scenario would be swept under the rug because of double standards.
3. I also questioned whether Kailani is strong or weak like Ruby. I think her decision is heroic in how selfless it is, but I do not think that she should carry the burden of knowing about Manny’s infidelity alone. Though this won’t break their relationship, I think it will make their marriage, which used to be the pillar of Kailani’s life, a bit more unstable, but at the same time, like Javi said, Kailani, as the wife of a soldier, is used to living with uncertainty. I understand how Kailani rationalizes Manny’s actions by coming to terms with the fact that she knows absolutely nothing about the time he spends at war, but I still do not think that it is fair that she has to live with the consequences of his actions. When I say consequences, I mean her having to deal with his infidelity alone, a less stable relationship, and maybe being the topic of gossip.
4. I believe that Manny does recognize the huge mistake he has made and is too scared to talk about it because, like Kailani, his marriage is a constant in his life that he doesn’t want to screw up. I also think that he really does love Kailani. I agree with what Claire said about Manny not fitting into the stereotypical depiction of a soldier. I was especially surprised when Manny willingly told Kailani in detail where his scars were from. I did not recognize his willingness to open up in the other veterans we have read about.